Our favorite time of year has arrived! We love the spooky in our house … horror films, Halloween, the Zombie Apocalypse … we’re all over it. And our daughter, it seems, has either inherited, or, more likely, been trained into an appreciation of scary things as well. (Though, to be clear, we are good parents and don’t let her watch horror movies. Strictly age appropriate “scary” at this point.) Last year, she told us she wanted to be Ana from Frozen for Halloween, a

reasonable request for a 3-year-old. So we bought her a cute Ana costume. But on Halloween night, as she stood there in her red braids and frilly skirt watching me apply makeup to transform into a Dia de los Muertos skeleton, she proclaimed, “I want to be scary too!” So we ditched Ana at the last minute in favor of something scarier, and my husband and I were visibly proud of our tiny little goblin. What gives us pause, however, is when our child actually gives us the creeps. And this happens a little more than I would like. I mean, there are times when she  just straight up scares the shit out of us. Is this true for all parents?

Here are the 7 times The Kiddo gave us the creeps:

  1. During story time one night she grabs my face and says, “I want to take mommy’s eyes out.”
  2. We’re driving across a bridge at night and can see thousands of lights across the LA Harbor. The child ponders, “I think those lights are tiny pieces of nightmares.”
  3. She is eating Dino Nuggets for lunch and tells me she is biting the heads off the baby dinos and making their mommies watch. (This one made me back away from her slowly.)
  4. She is ripping a piece of paper into tiny pieces, then blows the bits of paper and watches them scatter. “Goodbye, paper,” she says. Then quietly whispers, “For-ev-errrrr.”
  5. We’re taking a leisurely Sunday drive and, out of the blue, and apropos of nothing, the kiddo announces, “Daddy is a failure.” (Though I’m certain she had no idea what “failure” meant, the swiftness with which she crushed the husband’s spirit was truly chilling.)
  6. When our daughter was 1 she got very attached to a Halloween decoration of a severed arm and walked around using it as a snuggy for a couple of weeks. We finally had to “lose” it. (OK, admittedly, we come off badly in this one. Maybe we shouldn’t have had severed arms just lying around. OK, OK.)
  7. She and I are sitting on the floor playing My Little Pony when she turns to me and flatly says, “You’re going to die.” (Again, she was too young to know what “die” meant, but still! Shiver.)