"Don't sing, mommy."
“Don’t sing, mommy.”

When we brought Hailey home just two short years ago, our world became a blur of lovely pinks and purples, hair clippies with poofy things glued to them, blankies that are so soft they can only be made from kitten fur, and smooshy, drooly kisses and cuddles–all things girly, all things lovely. During this phase, Hailey could not get enough of mommy…we got lost in our girly bond and I loved it. But now Hailey is two and apparently mom is the devil and daddy walks on water. I expected this day to come maybe ten years from now, but at two? This new daddy phase was so unexpected that all I could do was cry into my kitten fur blankie.  These days, my conversations with Hailey go something like this:

Mommy: “How about a bedtime story?”

Hailey: “Mommy no read. Daddy read.”

Mommy: “Shall I sing you a song? Doe, a deer, a female deer…”

Hailey: “Don’t sing, mommy.”

Mommy: “Do you want chicken for dinner?”

Hailey: “No thanks, honey. No chicken.”

Oh yeah, she calls me “honey” now to add insult to injury.

But I am determined to survive this daddy phase, if through nothing else but sheer obstinance. I’m going to make things right and force that mommy phase back into its rightful place. So when daddy reads “Pete the Cat” at bedtime, I open up a copy of “Duckling Gets a Cookie” and read it just a pitch higher than daddy so my book sounds more interesting (and slightly deranged). I know it’s just a matter of time before I win her over with my high-pitched reading. Next, I employ a tactic I like to call, “I’m going to make you love me.” When she runs by me on her way to play with daddy, I grab her and say, “hug me; kiss me; cuddle with me…pleeeeaaaase.

” Now, if I had tried this with Daddy Howe when we were dating, no doubt he would’ve run for the hills. But Hailey doesn’t realize she has that option yet. And last but not least, I try to win her over with the “look at me’s.” “Look at mommy,” I exclaim. “Winnie the Pooh is sitting on her head.” “Look at mommy, she’s dancing.” Hailey does look at mommy, but I fear it’s for the wrong reasons. I think she might be taking mental notes to share with her future therapist.

So mommies, how did you get through the daddy phase, and did the mommy phase ever come back around again?